We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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