4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I deserve this hangover.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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