We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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