Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
