Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
