i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
