Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
