take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
