you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The beers last night were like the tears from god
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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