alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
