How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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