I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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