he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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