either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
