I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
