I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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