It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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