I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
