Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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