They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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