Say something about gay babies.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize