there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
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