i barfeds in our rink
I skipped work to stalk him.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
