sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
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Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
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It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Two words: nipple clamps
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