So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
