my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
