it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize