Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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