I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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