She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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