So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
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We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
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This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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