I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
