i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
