Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize