he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
