i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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