so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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