I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize