so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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