I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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