you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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