Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
