Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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