I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
me + whiskey = a bad person
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i need some magic done to my vagina
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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