I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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