I want to stick my p in your. b.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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