Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
