nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
only you would photoshop your dick
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
