Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
