Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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