I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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