Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
you made out with another girl for some wings
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
