what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
