You really coming over, don't trick.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
