fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My cat gives me a boner
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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