I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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