he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
