Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
