We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
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We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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