he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
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I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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