nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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