just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
