I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
