Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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