Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
