i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
