Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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